Think on These Things

There are few things in this world more infuriating to me than gender stereotypes. This all came to mind earlier today as I read an article from today’s Boston Globe called “The Difference Myth.” As it states, the article is about why “we shouldn’t believe the increasingly popular claims that boys and girls think differently, learn differently, and need to be treated differently.” I realize gender stereotypes unfortunately prevail in our culture which we esteem to be so civilized, but never before did I think the myths were penetrating so deeply as to affect public schools. SAT scores were cited in one study, showing that the number of teenage boys with high scores was more than that of girls, thus somehow displaying the superior male intellect. But the truth is that while more boys than girls scored high, boys also outnumber girls in lowest scores - the averages being almost the same. Some states now offer sex-segregated classes, which somehow benefit the pupils by teaching in ways which appeal specifically to their gender. Where girls are allowed to study cosmetics for their science project and boys are given action novels instead of literary classics. Unsurprisingly, the Bush administration has been “clearing the way for more public schools to segregate students by gender.” It seems predictable of the neo-conservative movement to seek gender segregation, so that each boy and each girl may be programmed separately, for their specific role in the comically “perfect” family the neo-conservatives view as the foundation to society.

The strides gained by the feminist movement in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s have been slowly loosing ground as these gender stereotypes have somehow crawled back into normality since the 90’s. The myth that “women are the chatty sex,” and are naturally more empathic than men, is even occasionally supported by feminists today. I must repeat, by feminists, the people who originally supported the idea that cognitive differences did not exist between the sexes.

I suppose the reason why I am so bothered with these stereotypes, is because I don’t fit them at all. “Men,” the article reads, “have brains that are good at understanding systems, and they are adept at acquiring and using power. They are hard-wired to excel at math and science, but lag behind women in reading ability. They talk less and are not naturally inclined toward caring for others.”

According to such stereotypes, I am, not a man but not quite a woman either. I talk a lot, I’m definitely very empathic, I suck at math, I’m very verbal when it comes to learning and I can’t stand systems. I’m often very concerned with the feelings of others, even for people I’ve never met, and easily feel the pain of others. While these qualities may place me in the stereotypical female category, I still desire women as my mates, I enjoy beer, baseball and nachos with my guy friends, I like muscle cars and loud motorcycles, explosions and many other stereotypically male things.

People love to draw conclusions and try so hard to make sense of everything, and organize everyone by a few attributes and place them on the proper shelf. I am not absolved of this guilt, but I try my best to understand it. We seem to think life would be easier this way, that society would function smoother if we were sorted in our proper place. What we miss completely in thinking this way, is the fact that it’s impossible. Human beings are incredibly complex things, every person being completely different from the next. If you were to really organize everyone into categories, you would spend a life time doing so and would need an infinite number of categories, and when categories become so numerous as to be infinite - what’s the point of organizing or categorizing at all? There is no point and therefore there’s no reason to bother with it. We’re all the same in that we’re all unique.

I am genetically, physically, biologically male. I have a penis and it’s okay! I LIKE being a man! But I will not give in to any supposed stereotype of what I am supposed to be. I will not act strong when I feel vulnerable, I am not afraid to cry, I don’t know everything, I will not let advertising or culture dictate my desires; I absolutely refuse to be anything but what I am.